When You're Just a Big People Magazine on the Inside

April 19, 2015

Coding Note: There are various ways to put emphasis on words and how you do it is meaningful to someone who might read your code. There is a lot to learn for those who wish to be proper. This is arguably better than learning Spanish.

Having roommates has its pros and cons. I, for one, have lived alone or with a partner for 9 of the 11 years since I moved out of my parents' house and I love it. I am willing to fork out more money on rent, but why?

Well, I like to sit naked and cross-legged upside-down for two hours each day whilst repeating an even mixture of yodels and Gregorian chants and MUST NOT BE INTERRUPTED. I also just like not being bothered and I like not bothering others.

I don't think enough people are self-aware enough to consider how the little things they do may impact those around them and saying anything to resolve the situation too often results in an irrational, defensive disaster. Then we all become passive aggressive drawer slammers whose angry thoughts could power the world into a new, sustainable future if turned into usable energy.

We all have bad living habits. Maybe you leave dishes/trash in the sink, forget to take out the recycling until it is so overwhelmed with bottles that it has become a danger to all those around it or maybe you don't even recycle! Maybe you leave your food in the fridge until it takes on a new life form, begins establishing itself as lord of the vegetable crisper, and can no longer be removed. I, for one, leave my laundry in the wash until it stinks so bad it must be washed again and I never stick to my rule of never letting my dander-terrorist of a dog on the furniture.

I'm not here to say to be better for the sake of housemates. I'm not even going to suggest trying to work on being in control of emotions when it comes to all the ways people act like total wieners. And I'm definitely not going to mention how making a conscious effort to remember everyone is having their own human experience and that they are in a different place than you, only doing what they do because it is what they've learned, can make the world a more peaceful place.

This is all about me and how I want to improve. I just found out, at the ancient age of 28, that food thrown into landfills produces a f***-ton of methane and is a huge contributor to the warming of this, our lovely globe. So much time spent in ignorance of it! In a month, when I move, I will begin a compost system. I will grow anything I can, edible or not, use minimal AC, and I will maybe even line dry my clothes. There will be plants, plants, PLANTS! If you've seen the Great Expectations with Anne Bancroft, you'll read that last line as Ms. Dinsmore. If you haven't, you lose.

I'm not sure I will have kids to worry about leaving behind on a planet set on cruise control and aimed right into the gaping mouth of an indifferent, celestial furnace. I just love this planet so much. It's so beautiful. I want to help it. I want to be its miracle plastic surgeon, fixing its irreversible damage so delicately that no one will ever even know it suffered, but they'll post about it's remarkable timelessness on E!Online.

Anyway, why are people so judgmental of hippie-like qualities? At least here in Texas, there is often a yuppie stigma attached to what I prefer to think of as awareness. How is my vegetarianism ever mocked? I see it as one of my best qualities. By being more connected to this lovely planet, I will be calmer, I will respond to disagreements with greater compassion, and I will learn so much more with an open mind. Currently, I think I know more about Gwyneth Paltrow than I do about cooking, which tells me I might as well be a People Magazine on the inside. Look into my soul and you may see little more than a list of similarities between the Corys of March 1988 Teen Dream. I was 2, but I'm sure it was in me. Somewhere.

No more! The movement to grow greens, patience, and my better half is the only movement there will be!


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